Getting Old

At the root of every gray hair, there is a dead brain cell.............

Don't laugh.... It is all true!

Perks of reaching 50 

Or being over 60 

And heading towards 

70 or beyond! 

1. 

Kidnappers are not very 

interested in you.

2. 

In a hostage situation,

you are likely to be released first. 

3. 

No one expects you to run -- 

anywhere.

4. 

People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask, 

'Did I wake you?'

5. 

People no longer view you as a 

hypochondriac.

6. 

There is nothing left 

to learn the hard way.

7. 

Things you buy now will

never wear out.

8. 

You can eat 

supper at 4 PM.

9.You can live without sex 

but not your glasses.

10. 

You get into heated arguments 

about pension plans.

11. 

You no longer think of speed limits 

as a challenge.

12. 

You quit trying to hold

your stomach in no matter who walks  into the room. 

13. 

You sing along 

with elevator music.

14. 

Your eyes won't get 

much worse.

15. 

Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off. 

16. 

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists 

than the national weather service.

17. 

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

18. 

Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size. 

And you notice these are all 

in big print 

for your convenience. 

AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

Never, NEVER, NEVER , 

Under any circumstances, 

take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on  the same night!