Word Play

WHOEVER PUT THIS TOGETHER LOVES LANGUAGE and WORD PLAY:

To write with a broken pencil is pointless

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.!

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a
rest.

Another Super Bowl Ad

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What Is The Question?

WHAT CAUSES ARTHRITIS?

A drunk man who smelled like beer sat down on a subway next to a priest. The man's tie was stained, his face was plastered with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking

out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say Father, what causes arthritis?'

The priest replies, 'My Son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for your fellow man, sleeping around with prostitutes and lack of a bath.'

The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned,' Then returned to his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. 'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?'

The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'

MORAL: Make sure you understand the question before offering the answer.

Super Bowl Ad Released

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10 Misconceptions

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About That Shooting Star.....

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Message To Presidential Candidates

The media has really missed the impact robo-calls had on the South Carolina Primary. It was the number one topic waiting in line to vote - and not in a very good way.

Advice to candidates - if you are going to call voters, make sure there is a live person on your end of the line. Fire the staff person who suggested using Robo-calls - you never know the next bad idea they will come up with.

Words To Think About

From The Simple Dollar Blog Site

Adam Osborne spells out why I’d rather hire a “B” student or a “C” student with an interesting and varied resume than an “A” student with nothing but a perfect GPA.

“The most valuable thing you can make is a mistake – you can’t learn anything from being perfect.” – Adam Osborne

Failure makes people better.

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“I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” – Bill Cosby

It doesn’t matter what you do. If you do something with any degree of success, you are never going to be able to please everyone. Instead, decide who you are going to please and focus on them wholeheartedly and don’t spend much time worrying about the rest.

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“The next time you find yourself in an argument, rather than defend your position, see if you can see the other point of view first.” – Richard Carlson

I’m often frustrated by discussions that are little more than insults tossed around and criticism that doesn’t consider the positives of what’s presented. Both are useless, and yet both get attention.

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“Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are asking, What’s in it for me?” – Brian Tracy

Don’t worry about what’s in it for you if you want to find success.

An Unusual Car Advertisement

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A Paper Mill Secret

Years ago a paper mill employee suggested one of the benefits of working in a paper mill was, "You can pass gas (fart), and no one can hear it or smell it."

The wonder is why  some folks consider that a benefit!

Golf Wars

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Why SOPA and PIPA are a Big Deal

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Anybody Else Tired of Those Robo-calls?

Rube Goldberg Machine

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Perceptions You Cannot Afford

10 employee perceptions you cannot afford

1. “You want us to care about you, but you don’t care about us.”
2. “You want us to show interest in your business goals, but you keep us in the dark.”
3. “You make it hard to do the kind of job I can feel proud of.”
4.  “You have no clue about what it’s like for us in the trenches.”
5. “You make decisions that affect us, but you don’t have the decency or commonsense to ask for our input.”
6. “You allow slacking off, poor performance, and bad behavior slide.”
7. “You take me for granted.”
8. “You don’t let me know how I’m doing, and you don’t let me know what I’m doing well.”
9. “You take advantage of your power.”
10. “You want me to be more motivated, yet you’re not inspired — or inspiring.”

Chuck Talks About Democracy

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Neat Under The Ice Pictures

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Latest Toy From Japan

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The Greatest Speech - Charlie Chaplin

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A Wonderful World

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Mere Existence

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Acts of Kindness

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Dads Against Dating

Candle Trick

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Remember Song

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