Signs of Getting Old

TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE,  SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS. 

• Your Kids are becoming you......but your grandchildren are Perfect! 
• Going Out is good.. Coming Home is better! 
• You Forget names .... But it's OK because other people forgot they  Even knew you!!! 
• You realize you're never going to be really good at anything .... Especially Golf. 
• The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you  really do care that you don't care to do them anymore. 
• You sleep better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than in bed. It's Called "pre-sleep". 
• You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" Switch.. 
• You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?"... ??? 
• Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's not safe to wear it anywhere. 
• What used to be freckles are now liver spots. 
• Everybody Whispers. 
• You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet .... 2 of which you will never wear.