Man Vs Wild - Just Eat It.

Coffee Wars

There Are A Lot Of Talented - And Stupid People Out There.

Why "Good" Communication Is Important

Man Vs. Wild: Berkeley

More Pics From The Trash

Cartoons Without Comment

Questions - from JF

Questions and Answers from AARP Forum Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them? A: Try a bookstore, under Fiction. Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause? A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement.  When you're done, you'll have a place to live. Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible. Is that true? Where can it  be  found? A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to  Egypt  " Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your over 60-year-old husband? A: Tell him you're pregnant. Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles? A: Take off your glasses. Q: Seriously! What can I do for these Crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face? A: Go braless.  It will usually pull them out. Q: Why should 60-plus year old people use valet parking? A: Valets don't forget where they park your car. Q: Is it common for 60-plus year olds to have problems with  short term memory storage? A: Storing memory is not a problem, Retrieving it is the problem. Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly? A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon. Q: Where should 60-plus year olds look for eye glasses? A: On their foreheads. Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores? A: "Gosh, I remember these!" SMILE, You've still got your sense of humor, RIGHT?

Men Are Just Happier - from BG & FM

Men Are Just Happier People-- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park .. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time. 

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend. 

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original color. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck. 

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons . You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. 

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes. 

No wonder men are happier. 

What Old Papermakers Look Like

A Tale of Two Retired Papermakers

TWO OLD "retired" papermakers decide THEY ARE CLOSE TO THEIR LAST DAYS AND DECIDE TO HAVE A LAST NIGHT ON THE TOWN.

AFTER A FEW DRINKS, THEY END UP AT THE LOCAL BROTHEL.

THE MADAM TAKES ONE LOOK AT THE TWO OLD GEEZERS AND WHISPERS TO HER MANAGER, 'GO UP TO THE FIRST TWO BEDROOMS AND PUT AN INFLATED DOLL IN EACH BED. THESE TWO ARE SO OLD AND DRUNK, I'M NOT WASTING TWO OF MY GIRLS ON THEM. THEY WON'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.'

THE MANAGER DOES AS HE IS TOLD AND THE TWO OLD MEN GO UPSTAIRS AND TAKE CARE OF THEIR BUSINESS. 

AS THEY ARE WALKING HOME THE FIRST MAN SAYS, 'YOU KNOW, I THINK MY GIRL WAS DEAD!'

'DEAD?' SAYS HIS FRIEND, 'WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?'

'WELL, SHE NEVER MOVED OR MADE A SOUND ALL THE TIME I WAS LOVING HER.'

HIS FRIEND SAYS, 'COULD BE WORSE, I THINK MINE WAS A WITCH..'

'A WITCH ??. . WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU SAY THAT?'

'WELL, I WAS MAKING LOVE TO HER, KISSING HER ON THE NECK, AND I GAVE HER A LITTLE BITE, THEN SHE FARTED AND FLEW OUT THE WINDOW..... TOOK MY TEETH WITH HER

Real - or Fake?

Jails and Nursing Homes

Here's the way it should be: let's put the seniors in jail and the criminals in nursing homes.
This would correct two things in one motion:
Seniors would have access to showers, hobbies and walks.
They would receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment,  wheel chairs, etc.
They would receive money instead of having to pay it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they would be helped instantly if  they fell or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week and all clothing would be ironed and  returned to them.
A guard would check onthem every 20 minutes.
All meals and snacks would be brought to them
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight/fitness room, spiritual counseling,  a pool and education..and free admission to in-house concerts by nationally recognized entertainment artists.
Simple clothing - ie., shoes, slippers, pj's - and legal aid would be free, upon  request.
There would be private, secure rooms provided for all with an outdoor exercise  yard.
Each senior would have a P.C., T.V., phone and radio complete with gardens in their room at no cost.
They would receive daily phonecalls.
There would be a board of directors to hear any complaints and the ACLU would  fight for their rights and protection.
The guards would have a code of conduct to be strictly adhered to,with  attorneys available, at no charge to protect the seniors and their families from  abuse or neglect.
As for the criminals:

They would receive cold food.
They would be left alone and unsupervised. They would receive showers once a week.
They would live in tiny rooms, for which they would have to pay $5,000+per month.
They would have no hope of ever getting out.  "Sounds like justice to me!"

Lessons From The Chilean Miners

From the Consumerism Commentary blog

1. Life is more important than money. Mining is a risky business, but men around the world take these jobs because their paid relatively well and helps them provide for their families. This may be obvious, but it’s good to have a reminder occasionally. You can always earn more money, but a lifetime is a finite resource. Don’t get bogged down with financial details to the point at which it affects your ability to live; keep it simple so you can spend your time living.

2. Prepare your family. These families were lucky; the breadwinners have lived to work another day. They will go on living, providing for their families, for what I hope will be a long time. The situation could have easily been worse, and that income would have disappeared. In financially sophisticated societies like the United States, life insurance is available to help families survive after the permanent loss of an income. Have life insurance if anyone else relies on your income for their well-being.

3. Stay organized. If you are the individual who takes care of the family finances by paying the bills and monitoring the accounts, think like a business and create a succession plan. Train someone else in the family, your wife, husband, child, or parent, for example, to access all the information that is needed to take care of the financial necessities in the event you find yourself unavailable for an extended period of time.

4. Never lose hope for the future. In a tough ordeal like this, hope can be a powerful enough force to keep someone alive. Draw upon hope by thinking about your family and friends, and when you are with them, ensure they understand your appreciation.

5. Even today’s big issues are not so big. As all miners survived a worst worst case scenario, there is never reason for anyone else to believe that they can’t make it through everyday problems that are much more trivial. When all you care about is surviving until the next day, it doesn’t matter who the president is, you won’t be upset you missed your favorite television show, and there is no need for the latest iPhone. In the end, these things will hardly matter.

6. Teamwork results in the whole being greater than the sum of its parts. Even people who function best individually rather on a team should work to align themselves with like-minded people. Whether you’re working on a team or being a member of a group with whom you have interests in common, you will have a support group when needed. Living is a social activity, and people who associate in groups of any sort are happier, more successful, and live longer than those who chose to be alone.

Mostly True - by DH

Subject: Mature Truths...

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fit ted sheet?
6.  Was learning cursive really necessary?
7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make good stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work  when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14.  "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn  it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
21.  Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
     
22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!
27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
28. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
29. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.
30. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
31. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet.

From the Mission to Learn blog site. You can access the site by clicking here.

10 Lessons from the Swarm

by Jeff Cobb

I recently finished reading Peter Miller’s The Smart Swarm, and I highly recommend it.  In it, Miller provides a fascinating overview of how various types of animals – ants, honeybees, termites, sparrows – tackle complex problems by leveraging collective “intelligence.” Better yet, Miller points to the lessons that humans might learn from these animals.

What follows is a run down of some of the major lessons from the book. Also, I’ve posted an excerpt – When in Doubt, Turn to the Experts – but I highly recommend reading the book in its entirety.

***

Miller identifies four major principles of smart swarms: self-organization,diversity of knowledge, indirect collaboration, and adaptive mimicking. Here are ten points I took from his discussion of the four principles:

1. Decentralized control: For self-organization to produce worthwhile results – like, for example, the Linux operating system or Wikipedia – individual members of a group have to be free to make their own decisions within a relatively sparse set of restrictions imposed by the community (e.g., no profanity, appropriately commented code).
2. Distributed problem solving: It’s in the very nature of complex problems that no single individual has the answer. Each member of the group contributes a bit towards creating a solution, just as many different writers and editors may contribute to a single Wikipedia entry.
3. Multiple interactions: Of course, for distributed problem solving to work, there have to be opportunities for individuals to interact frequently and in a variety of different ways.  As Miller puts it, repeated interactions help to “amplify faint but important signals and speed up decision making” [267].
4. Diversity of knowledge: Of course, if all the interactions are among the usual suspects (a problem I find with many trade and professional associations), then you end up with birds of a feather syndrome, or homophily.  For wrestling with really complex issues, bring together individuals with a wide range of backgrounds and cognitive abilities.  A “healthy dose of randomness” [267] can also be a plus.
5. Limits of human intuition:  Our “gut” is often not what we think it is. In addition to the tunnel vision that can come from homophily (above), Miller argues that our intuition, which has been “shaped by biological evolution to deal with the environment of hunters and gatherers, is showing its limits in a world whose dynamics are getting more complex by the minute.” [58]
6. Friendly competition of ideas: To compensate for the limits to our intuition and make the most of a diversity of knowledge, what we need is a bit of healthy competition among ideas – you know, the type of thing you might get when you don’t just teach to the test or dogmatically adhere to “best practices.”
7. Effective mechanisms for narrowing choices: If you are going to allow for a bit of competition, you have to have some way to narrow down the choices and make decisions. For me, Miller’s description of the seemingly byzantine processes of New England town meetings [83-91] suggested why human beings so often fail at directly leveraging collective intelligence – most of the time, we don’t have the patience and discipline for it.
8. Indirect collaboration: Miller doesn’t really talk about it as such, but I think that human beings’ ability to collaborate indirectly – to work independently yet collectively toward a common end like Wikipedia, or, I would argue, democracy – is perhaps the great antidote to our seeming weakness in working directly together to make hard choices.  The wonder is not that we face so many problems, but that we have somehow solved so many together in spite of our differences.
9. Adaptive mimicking: One of the reasons that indirect collaboration and many of the other concepts listed here have such power is that, once they start to take hold, they can spread rapidly because of our tendency to mimic each other.  The forces of influence are strong – particularly given the growth of the Web and mobile communication technologies. While they can be forces for good, they do also have their dark side – a point Miller brings home with force in his discussion of locusts as well as a number of human tragedies resulting from crowds spiraling into self-destructive behavior.
10. Risk minimizing strategies: As so much of Miller’s book suggests, there are often great benefits to going along with group behavior. As one sociologist Miller interviews puts it, “Nine out of ten times it’s the right thing to do…or at least it is a risk minimizing strategy [212].”  In other words, when we run with the herd, go with the flow, we tend to increase our real and perceived safety – both physically and mentally. The challenge for all of us, of course, is paying enough attention to know when it makes sense to break away from the herd.

Naturally,there is a great deal more to Miller’s book than what these ten bullets can provide. If you have the least bit of interest in how human beings learn and act as groups, reading all of The Smart Swarm is well worth your time.

Jeff

5 Success Tips for Gen Y

From Water Cooler Wisdom

It's been a while since we've talked generationally, and since these ideas came up in two media interviews this week, I thought I'd share them here:

• Focus on acquiring transferable skills.  You have all the time in the world to get promoted and have the responsibility of a senior executive.  Enjoy not having to take care of anyone but yourself and focus on acquiring skills like project management, budgeting, sales, marketing, and client relations.

• Use your initiative one small contribution at a time.  Rather than insisting on changing the company overnight, identify areas where you can improve upon a product or process and make your suggestions selectively.  Once one idea is well received and implemented successfully, you can move on.

• Take charge of your own career path.  Just showing up and doing a lot of work doesn’t mean your contributions are visible or that you are deemed worthy of a promotion.  Use job descriptions and work with your boss to develop a six month and year long career plan with concrete goals that you will achieve.  Insist that your performance reviews are done on time.

• Make your boss look good.  Go to lunch and discuss exactly what she needs from you.  Determine how to surpass her expectations.  Be self-sufficient and solution-oriented, respectful of her time, and accommodating. 

• Look for a mentor with a generosity of spirit who is just a few years ahead of you on the ladder, ideally in another department.  Emulate how she looks and behaves, dresses and interacts with colleagues and clients.  Define the relationship, set up a regular meeting schedule, and have questions prepared for each session.  Look for ways to do something for her in return. 

He Was Overcome By Fumes While Sitting On The Toilet

"He was overcome by fumes while sitting on the toilet". A true statement in an incident investigation from the paper industry in 1976. I know what you are thinking.....and believe me, a lot of people thought that right after the report was published. Just goes to show, your really need some folks not directly involved with the incident to review before publishing. Now for the facts.

In a classic move of bad engineering, designers installed a small bathroom right beside the chlorination washer in the bleach plant. In those days before hot stock chlorination, it was common for the first stage of the bleach plant to have excess chlorine applied, which would invariably be released in the chlorination washer - and - if you were sitting on the toilet - you guessed it - you'd be overcome by chlorine gas.

Business Strategy For Bankruptcy - Or Getting Out of Bankruptcy

More Pictures From The Trash

From 1 Bowater

Hugh Joyce, President of Bowater presented  the Chairman's Safety Trophy. Pictured left to right were: Bobby Paker, Jim Hornsby, Hugh Joyce, Clarence Hornsby, Alice Dover, and Tom Turner. Picture is from the mid-70's.

Laws Of The Universe

Agnes Allen's Law: Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.

Army Laws: If it moves, salute it. If it doesn't move, pick it up. If you can't pick it up, paint it.

Barth's Distinction: There are two types of people: those who divide people into two types, and those who don't.

Bartz's Law of Hokey Horsepuckery: The more ridiculous a belief system, the higher the probability of its success.

Baruch's Rule for Determining Old Age: Old age is always fifteen years older than I am.

Basic Law of Construction: Cut it large and kick it into place.

Becker's Law: It is much harder to find a job than to keep one.

Benchley's Law: Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.

Berra's Law: You can observe a lot just by watching.

Bicycle Law: All bicycles weigh 50 pounds: A 30-pound bicycle needs a 20-pound lock and chain. A 40-pound bicycle needs a 10-pound lock and chain. A 50-pound bicycle needs no lock or chain.

Boling's Postulate: If you're feeling good, don't worry. You'll get over it.

Bombeck's Rule of Medicine: Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

Boren's Laws of the Bureaucracy: 1. When in doubt, mumble. 2. When in trouble, delegate. 3. When in charge, ponder.

Borstelmann's Rule: If everything seems to be coming your way, you're probably in the wrong lane.

Bralek's Rule for Success: Trust only those who stand to lose as much as you do when things go wrong.

Brien's First Law: At some time in the life cycle of virtually every organization, its ability to succeed in spite of itself runs out.


Cannon's Comment: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.


Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you can't fool MOM.


Cardinal Conundrum: An optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. A pessimist fears this is true.


Character and Appearance Law: People don't change; they only become more so.


Clarke's Law of Revolutionary Ideas: Every revolutionary idea -- in Science, Politics, Art or Whatever -- evokes three stages of reaction. They may be summed up by the three phrases: 1. “It is completely impossible -- don't waste my time.” 2. “It is possible, but it is not worth doing.” 3. “I said it was a good idea all along.”


Clarke's Third Law: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.


Cleveland's Highway Law: Highways in the worst need of repair naturally have low traffic counts, which results in low priority for repair work.


Clyde's Law: If you have something to do, and you put it off long enough, chances are someone else will do it for you.


Cohen's Law of Wisdom: Wisdom is considered a sign of weakness by the powerful because a wise man can lead without power but only a powerful man can lead without wisdom.


Cole's Axiom: The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.


Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage.


Colvard's Logical Premise: All probabilities are 50%. Either a thing will happen, or it won't.


Commoner's Three Laws of Ecology: 1. No action is without side-effects. 2. Nothing ever goes away. 3. There is no free lunch.


Cooper's Law: All machines are amplifiers. 


Dieter's Law: The food that tastes the best has the highest number of calories.


Displaced Hassle Principle: To beat the bureaucracy, make your problem their problem. 


Ducharm's Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough, you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.


Dykstra's Law: Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.


Edelstein's Advice: Don't worry over what other people are thinking about you. They're too busy worrying over what you are thinking about them.


Ehrlich's Rule: The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.


Ettorre's Observation: The other line moves faster. Corollary: Don't try to change lines. The other line -- the one you were in originally -- will then move faster.


Farber's Third Law: We're all going down the same road in different directions


Finagle's Laws of Information: 1. The information you have is not what you want. 2. The information you want is not what you need. 3. The information you need is not what you can obtain. 4. The information you can obtain costs more than you want to pay.


Finnigan's Law: The farther away the future is, the better it looks.

And You Thought Carrying Books Was Easy?

Words of Wisdom To Graduates

Charles Sykes is the author of DUMBING DOWN OUR KIDS. He volunteered for high school and college graduates a list of eleven things they did not  learn in school. In his book, he talks about how the feel good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and set them up for failure in the real world. You may want to share this list with them.

         

• Life is not fair; get used to it.
• The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to  accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
• You will NOT make 40 thousand dollars a year right out of high school. You  won't be a vice president with a car phone until you earn both.
• If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
• Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping; they called it opportunity.If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your  mistakes. Learn from them.
• Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now.  They  got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes, and  listening  to  you talk about how cool you are. So before you save the rain forest from  the parasites of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your  own room. 
• Your school may have done away with winners and losers but life has not. In  some schools they have abolished failing grades; they'll give you as many times as you want to get the right answer. This, of course, doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
• Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off, and very few  employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time. 
• Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs. 
• Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Who Were Those Guys? - First Job by JV

My first permanent job in the paper industry was with a very unique company in Florida. I say unique, because they didn't have to answer to a board of directors. They also had some "traditions" which probably lived on longer than they should have. One of those traditions was you couldn't drive your car to the airport if you were on company business. You had to schedule a company chauffeur to pick you up in a limo.

On one return trip, I was with the head of environmental services - and - in those days - every trip went through Atlanta. The joke was, even if you were going to heaven, you still had to stop in Atlanta. Our flight from Atlanta was on Southern Airways. They're slogan was, "Everyone gets treated like first class" - because they had no first class on their flights. So, it was really like "no class" instead of first class.

Anyway, the head of environmental services and myself were seated beside a gentleman who was obviously well connected. We knew this because he made a point of talking about himself the whole trip. He also was dressed for the part - while we were dressed in leisure suits (or equivalent paper mill supervisor fare).

We landed at a small airport and walked to the terminal (in those days they would bring stairs up to the plane and you would walk outside). Just as our luggage arrived, so did the chauffeur. We pointed out our bags and he proceeded to pick them up. I watched the face of our new friend - and you could see the wheels spinning in his head.

He finally couldn't take it any longer and came up and said, "Now, who did you guys say you were?" We gave him our names, and nothing more, except to ask if our chauffeur could drop him any place. He declined, but watched us all the way to the limo. I've often wondered who he thought he had met.

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What It's Like To Walk Away From An Emergency Landing

Delta Flight 4951's emergency landing at JFK.

The Natural Gas Leak - That Wasn't

The paper industry  made great strides in reducing unscheduled releases over my career - and state regulators have gotten a lot better in requiring controls to be installed and monitored. Let's just say it has been a "partnership" which has improved the environment. This doesn't mean there haven't been "surprise" moments - even for those in the industry.

In the early 80's, we installed a heat recovery project to save energy. It had a tremendous financial return (less than a year) and also helped the country reduce foreign oil purchases. Well, the project also had another affect we hadn't counted on - it concentrated mercaptans found in the process and made the working conditions around the equipment unbearable. Mecaptans are odorous compounds which the gas company puts in your natural gas so you'll know if you have a leak.

On an emergency basis, we piped the concentrated mercaptans to a boiler stack and eventually started burning the gases at high temperature to eliminate them. When we first installed the burning system, we were not required to have a back-up, and from time to time, the system would go down and we'd have to vent the gases to the atmosphere (which was permissible at the time). Normally, weather conditions diffused the vent gases so impact was minimized to around the plant site.

One time we had to vent and there was absolutely no wind - and thus - no dilution. The venting gases traveled north east in an almost undiluted path. Areas which normally could not smell the mill could smell these mercaptans at their worst. This went on for several hours - the mill got no calls - and we thought we were out of the woods.  The next days local paper, though, indicated we didn't go unnoticed. The headlines were, County Emergency Services Could Not Find Natural Gas Leak!  Apparently, people were calling to complain about smelling Natural Gas and the Emergency folks spent a better part of the day driving around looking for a natural gas leak. This shouldn't happen today, thanks to efforts of paper mills to improve their systems and to environmental regulators who have insisted on better monitors. Never-the-less, this is one of those sad but true stories from the past.